Farewell, Insania: Letters from the Dota community

After over a decade of competitive play, half of which was spent with Team Liquid, Dota 2 mainstay Insania has retired from pro play. We'll miss him very much — and we're not the only ones. We reached out to people both inside TL and around the Dota scene to ask if they could write a goodbye letter to Insania as we send him off to whatever comes next, and we got a flood of enthusiastic responses back. Turns out Insania has made a big impact on this scene, both as a player and a person.

Goodbye, Insania — from all of us.

Joey - Director of Production (TL)

Before either of us worked at TL, I was a fan of the Alliance Dota roster. I thought you and Boxi and Mick were so fun. It was cool to have underdogs to cheer for. When you all got signed to Liquid, I was stoked. My favorite team was picking up my favorite team. Then I got signed to Liquid and was so excited to be able to work along side y'all -- even in a small way.

My whole experience here has been shared with you. To the point where it is a bit bitter sweet that this will no longer be the case. I'll miss seeing you in random corners of the world; sharing a laugh and a drink. I've worked with oodles of players, but nobody is like you. Truly. Thank you so much for letting me tell your story. For letting me meet your family. But also, thank you for making my dreams come true.

My first TI was #3. I stood by the stage as Alliance lifted that Aegis, and I was hooked. Never did I imagine that one day I would be on stage taking a photo with that trophy. But 11 years later, the thing is --it wasn't just a random team winning a random championship. It was my friends finally doing the thing that they, and I, believed they could. I'll live the rest of my life remembering that day. Remembering sitting next to your mom crying as y'all were winning game 3. Remembering the smile on your face hugging everyone. Remembering that dude that Bart tackled off the stage.

Ya know, that's the only trophy I have ever seen a TL team win in person since I've worked here. And honestly, I don't even need another one after that. Because there will simple never be another one that is this special. Don't... tell Victor.

Thanks dude.

BSJ - Streamer

One of my first memories with Aydin was at the Red Bull LAN in London, where there was some custom game, and he was still on Alliance at the time, and I was with Team Runes. What I remember is that since we weren’t really playing a real tournament, Aydin and the rest of the team were looking to scrim a lot, and he asked us to scrim them.

Needless to say, they were a lot better than us, and they had won two or three games. After every time we played them, since we were all in the same venue, he would come over and say, "Go again?" smiling the whole time. Eventually, we lost four or five times in a row, and we were losing hope, and Aydin came over once again and said, "Come on, let's go until you win one. Come on, let's keep going." Needless to say my team never won.

It was so clear, his enthusiasm for the game and for competition. He was kind of teasing us after demolishing us and yet it felt like we were equals. It felt like he respected us, and that it was purely out of love for the game and for both teams to learn, grow, and get better from playing.

There was no ego, no winners and losers, no superiors. In my experience, that’s something rare to come by in the world let alone from someone at the top of their craft. I know he hadn’t won TI at that point, but for me, that humility, that fun-loving nature, and that smile he always put on my face whenever we talked, whether it was serious or a game of Mafia, that’s the lasting impression I’ll always have of Aydin.

As a Dota player and as a person, I’m very grateful for having met him along the way, because he was one of the first, if not the first, to show me how a real professional, how a class act can compose himself and conduct himself.

Elya - Team Manager

I am going to miss Aydin soooooo much! His presence is irreplaceable, and brings such a feel-good, positive energy wherever he goes. It's impossible to feel sad when he's around as he is someone who will always check in with you to see if you're okay, or try to cheer you up by making you laugh, often at his own expense. He is truly such a treasure, I am sure everyone who has had the pleasure of meeting him would agree.

I will also be forever grateful to Aydin for where I am today, as it was his suggestion that I join Liquid with them to be their manager. I still remember the day he messaged me "Liquid.Elya?". This sudden wave of excitement and possibility hit me, it was something I had never even considered, and yet before I knew it this idea came to life and suddenly my world was turned upside down in the best way imaginable.

Spending the last 6 years travelling the world and working alongside Aydin have been some of the best years of my life, and I will cherish everything that we have achieved and experienced together as a team and as friends; the grind, the highs and lows, the nights out (and the nights in), all of the little moments in-between and of course ultimately winning TI.

I do feel a lot of sadness as well (CRYING MY EYES OUT WRITING THIS), but I am really excited for him to take some time off to enjoy life now, and I know that he will absolutely smash whatever he wants to do next.

Looking forward to what the future will bring for him and his family, and excited for the next time that we get to hang out! Love you Aydin <3

Blitz - TL Coach

At some point I had fooled myself into thinking my days of being involved in a competitive team were over until we hung out. Being asked by you and Max to be coach was a dream come true, at the time I was playing coy but I knew the answer would always be yes. Getting the opportunity to hang out with you and work with you on a daily basis was too good of an offer to pass up.

It wasn't always smooth because we were both so new to it all trying to fumble our way into winning what felt impossible at the time, but I felt like you always did it with so much grace and honor. We might not have seen eye to eye on every situation, but what kept me going even in tough times was the unshakeable faith that you are and always will be the most decent person I know. Nisha and Micke being such upstanding guys should be the largest proof of that and a reminder of your legacy daily.

While your lack of Naga and Chen play will not be missed, your amazing sense of humor, ability to always turn any situation into a positive, and the foresight to always put others in front of yourself will never be replaced. I think winning a TI is something that I'll always look back on fondly, but the thing I'll always be more proud of is the fact that we remained friends and will continue to long after you retire.

This isn't the end of our journey as brothers, it's just taking a different form is all.

John Lewis - VP of Athletics (TL)

It's been an incredible 6 years, we can't thank you enough for the way you represented Liquid through your time here. From your humble Dota beginnings as hontrash all the way to TI champion, it's been a privilege to join you on this journey.
Enjoy your very well deserved time off, and wishing you all the best in your future endeavors.

PS See you in HoN Reborn?

Victor - CEO (TL)

It seems that our time together at least as a competitive unit has reached its conclusion and I wanted to take a brief moment to thank you for all that you have done for Liquid.

You have been an amazing individual to work with and I could wish for nothing more from a player than how you have represented Liquid. You're genuinely such a great person and you managed to find the absolute highest sports achievements while staying true to yourself and your values. That is an incredible achievement within an already unbelievably difficult path.

While being a player is definitely a fun career, much more so than a regular 9 to 5 job, it also is an intense never ending grind. You have been doing this for so long, with such commitment, that I am happy that you are finally going to get some rest and allow yourself to focus on the other joys in life.

While maybe our competitive journey ends here, and the future is always hard to predict, I definitely feel like our roads will cross again and this won't be the last time we work together.

I will forever be grateful to you and what you have meant to us. If there's ever anything I can do for you, you know where to find me. Thank you for everything.

Jabbz - TL Coach

When I joined this team five years ago, I felt very much out of place. You immediately noticed and came to speak to me. Your advice and support not only helped me grow into the coach I am today but also made me a happier and more confident person.

You always put in the effort and time to make sure the team succeeded. Even in rough times, you pushed through and took responsibility for anything you deemed your fault, even when it wasn’t.

In Peru, as roommates, you made sure I was able to handle the immense pressure of standing in for a major final. Against all odds, we ended up playing a Major grand final together. Just a little over a year later, we stood at the very top of the world, lifting the Aegis together. I felt incredibly proud of each and every one of us who had devoted years, even decades, of our lives to reaching that summit.

When you said your goodbyes after TI in Hamburg, it felt surreal, like an older brother moving out of the family home, knowing that everything was going to be different. Everything comes to an end at some point, and I want to take a moment to appreciate all the good times, the bad times, and everything in between that we experienced together. This team will miss your presence greatly, and I consider myself very lucky to be your friend and to have had the chance to work with you.

Thank you for everything.

Boxi - Pro Player

From competing against each other to competing with each other, over the past 10 years we have shared a lot of ups and downs, and created many great memories along the way. I really appreciate how you cared about the team and always wanted what was best for everyone. Wish you all the best moving forward!

m1CKe - Pro Player

13 years together. will miss u my boomer

PYRION FLAX - Commentator

Aydin is one of the smartest, nicest, handsomest, sweetest, kindest, generousest, Dotaest, gyrocopterpickingerist, suavest, coolest, most awesomeest people I've met in my entire time working in Dota and I would happily say 1000 more nice words about him if time or space permitted. <3

JENKINS - Commentator

Most people will think that Aydin's biggest impact on the Dota scene would be his competitive career, but I think it's actually different. I think Aydin as a person has had a lot of small but profound impact on a lot of individuals lives. Everyone seems to have a story about it.

In the Seattle TI I was very, very depressed and went to take a walk on my own at like 1AM. He saw me and asked if I wanted company. And I said no. But he could hear the tone of my voice and insisted that he join me. We spent the next 2 hours talking about my feelings and my problems when he had to play for a million dollars the next day. And his advice was really, really good. It helped me a lot.

That's Aydin's superpower, to me. He listens. And he sees you. He actually sees you. Probably why he made such a good teammate in the first place.

tsunami - Host

Aydin, from the moment I met you, I never thought you’d be able to lift the Aegis. Not because of anything gameplay related, no. I’m saying purely in terms of personality. Any chance we ever got to interact on or off camera, I always came away thinking, “This guy is too thoughtful, too charismatic, too... well adjusted.” Traits that are not the makings of a TI winner, in my mind.

But I’ve never been happier to be proven wrong.

It’s rare for players to retire from this career being at peace with their time spent, but I hope that’s how you feel. To be at the top of not just one, but two different games, is the type of legacy most could only dream of.

I have no doubt you’ll find success in whatever you choose to pursue next. And if that happens to be talent work and I’m lucky enough to have you on panels, even better. After all, I’m fairly sure you’re the only person in Dota history to cast a TI grand final before winning one.

ODPixel - Commentator

LISTEN UP, MR. INSANIA. If you think you can escape Dota 2 THIS easily, you better THINK AGAIN. At MOST you may make it a month or two before I BETTER see you ready for some paneling or casting. You passed the initial trial during the TI10 Grand Finals cast with flying colours, and the fans LOVE you. I will not accept you riding off into the sunset quite yet. Playing professionally was ONLY the beginning. See you in the studio OKAY. I have already made and sent your showreel to all tournament organisers <3 kthxbye.

Slacks - Interviewer

Hey man!

It’s rare for a player to not only elevate their team, but the entire scene. You’ve grown as a player and as a person we could all look up to... kind, thoughtful, and always down for the silly content or interviews that let fans connect with you. You didn’t have to do this, and honestly, you had every reason not to be the face of your teams, but your love and dedication to your boys and the Dota community always came first.

From the moment we met, I’ve wished for nothing but success for you, as I’ve told you many times. I’m so happy you’ve achieved that and so much more. Congrats on a fantastic career, and here’s to even more great things ahead.

Sheever - Host

As a support player myself, I always follow the support pro players a bit more than the rest. And even though I never quite learned how to play Oracle, I did learn a lot watching you play.

I have loved seeing your many roads to TI and lifting the Aegis eventually. It can't have been easy to be on the grind for a decade and still manage to keep such consistent results in a slow but almost ever upward trajectory.

It's good to take a well deserved rest from that, but for many it has not been possible to keep themselves happy in retirement. There is a fantastic solution for that, of course, something that will continue to scratch your Dota itch without being as stressful. Welcome to talent life!

P.S. Call times are probably going to be a bit earlier than what you're used to.

Cap - Commentator

Aydin, I had the privilege of getting to know you early on in your Dota career. What stood out to me immediately was your great sense of humor and down to earth personality. I'm so glad that you had Boxi & Micke to carry your ass to Dota lans so we could hang out. In fact, I'd say that at least 40% of my motivation of starting a podcast was just so we could hang out more. Getting to narrate parts of your career and watch your rise to the top was inspiring, and it meant a lot to see such a good person succeed at the highest level of competition.

I've learned a lot from our conversations. Not about Dota of course, that was all dogshit. But you always have great insights on people and life. I know you'd make exceptional talent, and I do hope I get to work with you for the years to come, but no matter what you choose to do in life, I have the utmost faith in your success.

Quinn - Pro Player

Getting to know Aydin was an absolute privilege, it's really rare to meet such a good person in general but especially when you're competing. He is an amazing player who built a career playing with people he cared about and stuck to his guns in a way very few other players have. He's a humble winner and a gracious loser, and incredibly kind and thoughtful person out of the game. It was an honor to play vs him and get to know him and I wish him the best in whatever he chooses to do next.

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Though currently a copywriter at Team Liquid, in another life, Bonnie was an esports writer who wrote a lot about Overwatch.